Some days….

“Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue”

This week has been a challenge, there are more defined (blunt) ways of putting it but that wouldn’t be in keeping with a positive attitude; it has been a challenge.

There’s a lot of things happening personally at the minute and a lot happening in the business that is taking a lot of headspace to process, probably much more than it should be allowed. For those people considered to be “normal” this takes it’s tole as you neglect to deal with those day to day things but the short term nature of it means that you can move things around in your head to allow the time to process it all….short term pain long term gain, as they say. But what happens when you don’t have the headspace to spare in the first place? What happens when you are already fighting your own demons, like those with depression and other such mental ailments….then what? What can you do when you just don’t have the capacity to deal with it all…..melt down? Crawl into bed? Go and hide?????

Building blicksImagine that each problem you come up against is like a stack of children’s building blocks; they keep stacking up until they’re all there balanced perfectly. You tackle each one and before you know it you’re back down at ground level…..mission accomplished!

What would happen if, before you even started, there was already 10 blocks….and those problems then started stacking up….then what? That perfect balance would be gone, they would all come crashing down and you’d be left frantically picking up the pieces trying to make sense of it in order to avert disaster. That is what mental illness is like; you always have that 10 block (or more) head start before you even begin to have more thrown at you.

So how do you, I, we manage it? By learning to balance them better than everyone else, through minor nudges to get them back in balance. That doesn’t sound too bad though, does it? Not really…..but it really takes it out of you. It makes it harder to smile through it. It makes it harder to answer the question “how you doing?” without sounding false. It makes you want to go somewhere away from people so you can have some peace and quiet, where you don’t have to “pretend”. It makes you seem to be “miles away” all the time. Because that time is needed to just keep things in balance, to stop you from dropping everything and ending up in a mess. If you know someone who has experienced this or have yourself then you will get where I’m coming from. If not, then I hope this helps to understand that for some people balancing what needs to be dealt with can seem almost insurmountable compared to others.

For me though, the weekend is upon me and I will get my “blocks” back in order ready for the week ahead and I hope you do too.

Enjoy the bank holiday folks!!

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